No Turning Back

Hebrews 10:38-39 (Amplified) But the just shall live by faith [My righteous servant shall live by his conviction respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, and holy fervor born of faith and conjoined with it]; and if he draws back and shrinks in fear, My soul has no delight or pleasure in him. [Hab. 2:3, 4.] But our way is not that of those who draw back to eternal misery (perdition) and are utterly destroyed, but we are of those who believe [who cleave to and trust in and rely on God through Jesus Christ, the Messiah] and by faith preserve the soul.

This study of what it means to be a disciple is teaching me one very important truth: being a disciple is serious business. It isn't something I can play around at. It's all or nothing. Yeshua demands my all. It isn't enough to give mental assent to His being the Son of God and the Savior from sin's penalty. A commitment from my heart is required, a commitment that is expressed through every attitude, action, and word that I speak. I have to choose to submit my will to His, to learn to walk in His ways, to listen for His voice and obey. And I suspect that this is something I will have to do daily, as His Word says:

Luke 9:23-25 (Amplified) And He said to all, If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself [disown himself, forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests, refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also]. For whoever would preserve his life and save it will lose and destroy it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he will preserve and save it [from the penalty of eternal death]. For what does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and ruins or forfeits (loses) himself?

I am going to have to choose daily to die to my self, to my own interests, my own desires, my own agendas, and to live for Him.

Luke 14:27-33 (Amplified) Whoever does not persevere and carry his own cross and come after (follow) Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, wishing to build a farm building, does not first sit down and calculate the cost [to see] whether he has sufficient means to finish it? Otherwise, when he has laid the foundation and is unable to complete [the building], all who see it will begin to mock and jeer at him, Saying, This man began to build and was not able (worth enough) to finish. Or what king, going out to engage in conflict with another king, will not first sit down and consider and take counsel whether he is able with ten thousand [men] to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if he cannot [do so], when the other king is still a great way off, he sends an envoy and asks the terms of peace. So then, any of you who does not forsake (renounce, surrender claim to, give up, say good-bye to) all that he has cannot be My disciple.

Can I do it? Can I willingly lay down my life, die to my self, let go of all that I am & have? But if I don't, what is my life worth? The Word says that if I lose my life, I will save it, but if I hold on to it and refuse to surrender, then I end up losing my life. I am reminded of a book I read this past year: Hind's Feet On High Places, by Hannah Hurnard, one of those old Christian classics that is well worth the time it takes to read it. In the story, Much Afraid heeds the call to follow the Master and as she journeys onward & upward, she comes to a place where she has to lay down her life, but in dying, she is reborn. This reminds me of the following:

John 12:24-26 (Amplified) I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains [just one grain; it never becomes more but lives] by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces many others and yields a rich harvest. Anyone who loves his life loses it, but anyone who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. [Whoever has no love for, no concern for, no regard for his life here on earth, but despises it, preserves his life forever and ever.] If anyone serves Me, he must continue to follow Me [to cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying] and wherever I am, there will My servant be also. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.

1 Corinthians 15:36-38 (Amplified) You foolish man! Every time you plant seed, you sow something that does not come to life [germinating, springing up, and growing] unless it dies first. Nor is the seed you sow then the body which it is going to have [later], but it is a naked kernel, perhaps of wheat or some of the rest of the grains. But God gives to it the body that He plans and sees fit, and to each kind of seed a body of its own. [Gen. 1:11.]


John 15:16 (Amplified) You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed you [I have planted you], that you might go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit may be lasting [that it may remain, abide], so that whatever you ask the Father in My Name [as presenting all that I AM], He may give it to you.

Yeshua has chosen me. He wants to plant me, like that grain of wheat that must die, so that I might come forth, bearing fruit. Am I willing to accept that? Am I willing to say, "Here I am, LORD! I am ready to be planted"? You know, I thought I had made that choice a long time ago, but the more I learn, the more I realize that I haven't really made that choice. There is still a great deal of self alive in me that needs to be put to death. Or maybe it's a process, like peeling an onion, and now after all these years, we are starting to get to the heart of the matter. Will I be like those who turn back? No! How can I be? There is NO life without Him! As Peter said, (Joh 6:68-69 Amplified) Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words (the message) of eternal life. And we have learned to believe and trust, and [more] we have come to know [surely] that You are the Holy One of God, the Christ (the Anointed One), the Son of the living God.

So difficult though it may be, I will persevere; I will say "NO" to my self and take up the cross each day. I WILL follow Him, NO turning back!